Moving through the fear of being seen
You don’t have to bare it all online!
I hear so often, “I really want to get into this work but I am just not the person who wants to speak face to camera or share all my vulnerable life moments”.
And you know what my answer is? (Unlike other coaches that may say you have to!)
“Please don't then!!”
Where did we go so far that we feel like its necessary to bare your heart and soul to absolute strangers on the internet? That in order to “help” people, you have to be so vulnerable and share your most deepest, hardest, challenging and raw moments of your life (cue crying video). Where did this become a prerequisite to being a trustworthy, “authentic person” and a “limiting belief” if you don't do it.
Don't get me wrong, I am all about transparency, authenticity and vulnerability. But you don't owe anyone your full vulnerability and rawest moments.
It makes me sad to think that many incredible women aren't stepping into their purpose for fear that they need to do that.
There is a difference between fear of being seen and wanting to keep your heart protected. There is a difference between sharing something because “it makes you more relatable” vs genuinely wanting to share what you have moved through (because that will never feel forced). If there comes a moment that you WANT to share that - amazing! Go for it!!
But at the end of the day, protect your heart. You don't have to say all the details but share the learnings, realisations, perspectives, process, your wisdom - that you have cultivated from your life experience. People feel the WEIGHT in your words rather than needing to tell them all that you went through to receive that now knowing. This should be more of a priority.
I rarelyyy ever post talking to camera - not because I am afraid of it but because it hasn't really felt natural, so I don't force it. I have always felt like my podcast was more my space. If I do feel called to grab my camera and speak, then I will. But I don't see it as a prerequisite for success & community creation.
Don't let this be a reason to stop you from stepping into this coaching space. You set the expectation of what you are available for!
You can share, be seen, serve in a way that feels true for you!
You never ever ever have to self sacrifice for the sake of success.
Don't let it be the reason you don't start the business or share your wisdom.
So now that's out of the way - do you have a message, deep down desire & mission to help people - there is an element of putting yourself out there and actually sharing that. So if you are afraid of being seen, here are some of my tips:
// Look at where you are judging others or have witnessed judgement of others - when we judge others, it is a reflection of where we judge ourselves and have a shadow of not allowing ourselves to fully express. We never ever want to be on the other end of the judgement that we or others have given. My past self would have 1000% judged me now, because she didn't let herself be authentic or take up space. Until I went inward, healed those shadow aspects, celebrated other people doing the thing I previously judged - did I no longer fear it. I realised that judgement is more about that person, than about me (because I had been the judger before). Talk about FREEING being someone with absolutely no judgement towards others.
// Connect with the inner child of you that is afraid of being seen, misunderstood, rejected and abandoned. I love to use the practice of IFS (that I will be teaching you inside the Certification) to access, heal, and send love to that part of yourself. This is POWERFUL because it gets to the core, root subconscious belief rather than bandaid approach. Your inner child needs to feel safe & protected - how are you helping them feel that?
// Regulate your nervous system before, after and during “being seen”. If you are putting yourself out there, your nervous system and body can go into fight or flight. It can feel like it's safety and survival is threatened because you are going against “the pack” (we need community to survive). So please breathe through it, EFT tapping, saying the sound “voooom” as you tap and regulate your body. Tell yourself “I am safe, I am safe”. Then get support either from nature or a loved on - this gives the feeling of unconditional love & acceptance. Do not, I repeat, do not check your phone, the likes, the reception - it will make it only worse. Celebrate yourself for doing the scary thing, regardless of the reception!
Take it slow, this is big work. Especially if you have a 5 profile line. When you allow yourself to naturally and authentically be seen for your sharings & knowings - you will feel truly FREE and no longer held back. But again, you do not need to feel like you have to be an open book that bares it all! You just do you!
If you want to dive in deeper to moving through the fear of being seen, I recorded a podcast earlier this year below!
Sending so much love!! Honestly so proud of you, I know this work is MASSIVE. Fear of being seen used to be debilitating for me (to the extent that I broke up with my partner, moved overseas and blocked everyone from my home city on instagram so that they couldn't see this new identity and life I was creating). Please don't go to my extremes haha!
If I can do it, so can you!
